„Dear Sir, I Have $6.8 Billion“: A Love Letter From Your New Best Friend, Alejandro
„Dear Sir.“
Two words and I already know how this ends. With me poorer and Alejandro richer.
Alejandro has an investor. This investor is very shy. So shy he needs Alejandro to email strangers at midnight. So shy he has $6.8 Billion burning a hole in his pocket and zero ideas what to do with it.
But don’t worry. He’s not reckless. He only invests in companies with „good profits“ that „need funds for EXPANSION“.
What kind of companies? Oh, you know. The usual. Real Estate. Biotech. Textiles. IT. Pharma. Oil. Mining. Casinos. Hospitals. Aviation. Agriculture. Insurance. Chemicals. Marketing. Tourism. Retail. Trade. And „any other viable investment opportunities just like yours.“
Translation: He invested in the entire dictionary and ctrl+v’d the industry list from Wikipedia. This man is the Warren Buffett of everything.
Now here’s where Alejandro gets generous. Because he loves you.
„If you recommend a Company to take loan or investment funds from my client the investor, me and you will be entitled to 5% of any amount received by the Company.“
Wow. 5% of $6.8 Billion. That’s $340 Million. Just for forwarding an email. Sign me up.
Oh wait. If YOU are the company, he’ll only take 2.5%. He’ll let you keep the other 2.5% as „Global Finder’s fee commission“. What a saint.
There will of course be a meeting. After the MOU. And the AORI.
AORI? Never heard of it. Neither has Google. Neither has the SEC. Neither has anyone except Alejandro and his investor who lives in a Google Doc. But it „should not be less than 3% per annum“. Sounds official. Sounds expensive. Sounds like the fee you’ll pay in step 2.
And because this is all so legit, we have to keep it secret. „absolute confidentiality“. The fund provider „want to remain silent“.
Right. Because billionaires are famous for hiding. They don’t do Forbes lists or Bloomberg interviews. They email random Sirs and beg them not to tell anyone about the $6.8 Billion.
The grand finale: „I will need the company profile and the project summary of the company that will need funding to present to my investor.“
Ah. There it is. The ask.
You do the work. You send him real company data. Real contacts. Real pitch decks. And then in 2 weeks you get the follow-up: „Great news! Investor is interested! We just need a $15,000 due diligence fee to release the funds.“
This isn’t an investment email. This is a job application. For the position of „Unpaid Intern For A Scammer“.
Alejandro doesn’t have $6.8 Billion. Alejandro has a Gmail account, a template, and hope. Hope that you’re greedy enough, desperate enough, or tired enough to believe that money falls from the sky with the subject line „Dear Sir“.
It doesn’t.
The only thing expanding here is Alejandro’s list of victims.
Delete the email. Block Alejandro. And if you really want to make 5%, go sell something real. Because $6.8 Billion doesn’t live in inboxes. It lives in headlines.
Here is the original mail:
